Friday, December 31, 2004

day seven

more excerpts:

tired eyes meet tired
hands but young ripe unused
with experience out of
head dreams of red brilliant
the colors seen from afar
a seam real burst overflow
the magma the torrents
undone winding up slow
tangles of jungle vines exotic
unknown seduces walking to
away from, which? asked
with the tired eyes hands
breaths wintry mixed fires

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

day six

i just completed writing a very long piece about the reestablishment of culture. it was perhaps one of the best things i have ever written. i hit the accent button on the create post page and it "x"ed out the window. i have never been this pissed off at a computer in my entire life. fuck. it was good too.

Monday, December 27, 2004

day five

done and done?

snowfall peeking as dusk settles
under the covers of our night
when the window panes curled
with the stretching cat whistles
flickers the dimly candlelights
tall shadows dance around us
regrets none the firey escapade

day four

more excerpts....

insignificancies create
significancies rousing
all undone casting
its starlight wonder
where the ever long
doubts no longer the
winding hands naked
release restlessness
sleepless helpless
am i fated to? beckon
to me whispers deep
snowy edged we rise
arrive in one breadth
for all to awe.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

day three

Excerpt part duex:

The mysterious nature of a relationship always eluded me. The moments in between intimacy and conversation, time spent in a collective silence entwined with thoughts of the next, I have realized, define everything between one and another. That is the basis for the future, yet it still remains a notion unrealized in my world. There was the comfortable silence before we spoke, but then again, how? We had never shared what couples did, the locked gazes and stream of thoughts forging into one, sentences yet to have started but already finished. That very mystery has baffled and struck fear, the power of an unspoken communication to undo the very concepts of what love should be and what it shouldn't. But it is an unimaginable comfort that few experience, or so I thought at that naive age of twenty.

day two part four

Wisdom From Jessica:

Cherish what you have and never forget those who make you truly happy.

~Yea, it's corny, but then I'm a sap. I've been told that I will be allowed to make guest appearances on Seany's blog page. Isn't that grand?? Tonight I came to Sean's house with something I haven't had since high school.... Christmas presents for Sean. I think he was impressed, so I am happy. As of the rest of my day, it was great... I got way more presents than I deserved, ate way too much food, and got a longer after-dinner nap than usual! Somehow I don't want this holiday to end.... people are actually nice, people are home from schools, and there is no excuse for being spoiled. Ahhh, I love the holidays.

Now, I must go wake a passed out friend and then peace out to my house....
I'll catch you guys later. Muah!

Saturday, December 25, 2004

day two part three

thought of the moment:

the attitude that life is simply a romantic matter frightens me.

day two part two

every now and then i will post some of my writing on here, and here is the first excerpt:

The room was an empty solitude. Everything I hated about my life thrived in that room, breathed the same air, and swallowed me whole with every entrance and exit through the worn metal door. Why did she leave? The question’s echoes bounce from the white concrete to my sobbing need for simple comfort, that perfect equilibrium of happiness and completeness, the one sense every man hopes for, but rarely admits. I can see it but it’s an impossible journey. I sat on the couch in the dark, the din of the window fan the only break of the monotony of silence, and I stare at the blank television. It comes alive with my visions of our life, of barbecues, of our kids’ birthday parties, of our wedding, of what could be if that invisible bridge was to ever be conquered. I wish I could turn this TV off, but its pictures flow with each beat and all that is left is a quiet hope and the couch. I wish you stayed. I wish you laid in my arms, under my covers, and we woke up early as the sun barely peeked over the trees and we looked into each other’s eyes and knew. Knew that fate had arrived and our lives were intertwined in a state of perfect intimacy, and my gentle kiss on your forehead was relinquished with one of yours. We made love as the sun rose and settled back into our comfort only to awake several hours later with the last sparks of bliss still alive. But I’m left in the darkness.

day two

today is christmas morning and once again i am reminded why i think my mother was put on this earth to do everything in her power to make my days worse than they already are. there is obviously past history here that i should explain, but im not going to simply for the sake that it would take me six years to type it and there would be so many pages that i would overload blogger and ruin it for everyone.

but i will tell you what happened to me this morning. the only person i couldnt get a present for was my mother. i went to eight different victoria secret stores to get her this beautiful robe, and they were all out at every one i went to. so i had to order it online. yes, it was last minute shopping, but i was still at school until thursday. the robe, which by the way was far more than i can afford, is really nice and has matching slippers that i bought as well. so in the end, there is no actual present under the tree for her, which i feel terrible about, but sometimes these things happens, and it has before over the years, and its usually not a big deal.

today it was. i walk downstairs and there are no presents under the tree and my mom, who is obviously hungover from exacerbating her drinking problem the night before screams at me "christmas is going to be different this year you fucker." mom, may i remind u that its christmas. all i wanted was a cup of coffee so i can read the news and relax. the presents didnt really matter, they never do. thats not what this holiday is about to begin with. so the screaming begins at my father and i for no reason. she doesnt even know about the present yet. this goes on for twenty minutes, and then she says "you probably didnt even get me a present," to which i told her the story, leaving out exactly what the present was.

then the gates of hell opened and eurphrates overflowed its banks. i swear things in the kitchen lit on fire and a demon arrived in the kitchen. two coffee cups were thrown at me, which i caught. all i wanted was a cup of coffee. it is now a half an hour later, and shes now in the middle of the kitchen floor crying. i want to call an ambulance so she can be put in a nice hospital. thank you mom, for ruining christmas again.

i was actually in the christmas spirit this year, something that shocked a lot of people. yes, me being sensitive and the nice guy that i can and now want to be. twenty minutes with my own mother ruined that. wonderful.

day one

there comes a point when every person should risk something that will change their life, and they dont.